Self-Care and Balance: Why Caring for Yourself Matters First
Self-care and balance are essential, especially for those who spend their lives caring for others. In holistic nurse coaching and everyday life, many of us place the needs of others above our own, often without realizing the cost. This reflection explores the importance of self-care, emotional balance, and faith as the foundation for truly supporting others while honoring ourselves.
The Pattern of Putting Others First
I have embarked upon a new journey in holistic nurse coaching. A common theme with my fellow nurse coaches, our clients and me is putting the needs of others above our own.
We tend to identify our lack of self-care only when we see others imitating us.
Self-care is about valuing who we are and recognizing that we must care for ourselves in order to be able to serve others. Caring for ourselves also means that we will be able to bring more of ourselves to all aspects of our lives.
The other day, my peer coach told me she is practicing self-centeredness. I began to wonder why we see that as such a bad thing.
Let’s Redefine Self-Centered
What does it truly mean to be self-centered? Are self-centered and selfish the same thing?
Dictionary.com defines it as being concerned solely with one’s own self-interest. Is being self-centered being concerned solely with self-interest?
Becoming Whole Before Helping Others
My favorite book is The Missing Piece Meets the Big O by Shel Silverstein. It is a picture book fable of our quest to find someone to make us whole and fulfilling the ability to become whole ourselves.
It speaks to our self-reliability for success. We can-not successfully help others if we are not self-balanced.
When traveling on a plane, we are told to put the oxygen mask on ourselves before helping others.
What Scripture Teaches Us About Rest
The Bible also reminds us to rest and care for ourselves:
Genesis 2:2 By the seventh day God had finished the work he had been doing; so on the seventh day he rested from all his work.
Mark 6:30-32 The apostles gathered around Jesus and reported to him all they had done and taught. Then, because so many people were coming and going that they did not even have a chance to eat, he said to them, Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest. So they went away by themselves in a boat to a solitary place.
Matthew 26:36 Then Jesus went with his disciples to a place called Gethsemane, and he said to them, “Sit here while I go over there and pray.”
In order to be present and truly listen to others, we must first develop our own potential by becoming self-balanced.
We can’t rely on the opinions or welfare of others to determine our own self-worth or confidence.
We must come to the relationship having balanced our own lives and therefore being able to allow them to practice self-care as well.
Maybe I should use the word self-balanced instead of self-centered. Hmmm?
Balance is an even distribution of counteracting weight or force with a central pivot or focus.
Finding Your Center of Balance
In Tai Chi the center of energy is in our belly. We are taught to focus on our center of gravity in order to achieve and maintain balance.
We should focus on Self as the Center of Balance.
The center of balance is the point to which an object is balanced with respect to applied forces.
A Question to Reflect On
WHERE IS YOUR CENTER OF BALANCE?