SELF CENTERED
I have embarked upon a new journey in holistic nurse coaching. A common theme with my fellow nurse coaches, our clients and me is putting the needs of others above our own. We tend to identify our lack of self-care only when we see others imitating us. Self-care is about valuing who we are and recognizing that we must care for ourselves in order to be able to serve others. Caring for ourselves also means that we will be able to bring more of ourselves to all aspects of our lives. The other day my peer coach said that she was practicing being self-centered. I began to wonder why that is thought of as such a bad thing. What does it mean to be self-centered? Is being self-centered and selfish the same thing? Dictionary.com defines it as being concerned solely with one’s own self-interest. Is being self-centered being concerned solely with self-interest?
My favorite book is “The Missing Piece Meets the Big O” by Shel Silverstein. It is a picture book fable of our quest to find someone to make us whole and fulfilling the ability to become whole ourselves. It speaks to our self-reliability for success. We can-not successfully help others if we are not self-balanced. When traveling on a plane, the stewardess tells us to put the oxygen mask on ourselves before helping others.
The Bible tells us to rest and care for ourselves:
Genesis 2: 2 By the seventh day God had finished the work he had been doing; so on the seventh day he rested from all his work.
Mark 6:30 The apostles gathered around Jesus and reported to him all they had done and taught. 31 Then, because so many people were coming and going that they did not even have a chance to eat, he said to them, “Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest.” 32 So they went away by themselves in a boat to a solitary place.
Matthew 26:36 36 Then Jesus went with his disciples to a place called Gethsemane, and he said to them, “Sit here while I go over there and pray.”
In order to be present and listen to others with our focus on helping them, we must first develop our potential by being be self-balanced. We can’t rely on the opinions or welfare of others to determine our own self-worth or confidence. We must come to the relationship having balanced our own lives and therefore being able to allow them to practice self-care as well.
Maybe I should use the word self-balanced instead of self-centered. Hmmm?
Balance is an even distribution of counteracting weight or force with a central pivot or focus. In Tai Chi the center of energy is in our belly. We are taught to focus on our center of gravity in order to achieve and maintain balance.
We should focus on Self as the Center of Balance. The center of balance is the point to which an object is balanced with respect to applied forces.
WHERE IS YOUR CENTER OF BALANCE?